Category: Nigerian Jokes

Nigeria Joke: Terrible accident

December 29, 2016 | By | Add a Comment

An accident occurred today. 11 persons were injured and 12 died. So the Minister of Health promised to offer N5,000 to the injured and N6million to the dead for their funeral. All of the sudden, one of the injured got up and moved towards where the dead people were. Immediately, one of the dead people […]

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Nigeria Joke: No Fuel

January 11, 2016 | By | Add a Comment

UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house? MOMMY: No! UCHE: Why? MOMMY: No fuel. UCHE: Ahn ahn! I’m using my legs. MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you?

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Akpos’ GCE Exams questions

January 11, 2016 | By | 1 Comment

GCE MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER Time: 2Hrs 30MINS INSTRUCTIONS: ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS. ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS. You have dated a girl for 2 years, eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks) You bought a phone for your girlfriend and she gave it to another guy. Using trigonometric […]

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Funny Joke: Attractive

November 24, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

A woman came to her husband, feeling very happy and said, “Honey, at 50-year-old, one of your friends finds me so attractive.” The husband just smiled and said, “I won’t be surprised if it’s Kwame.” Wife in shock, “Yes, why?” The husband replies, “He deals in leftovers…”

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Nigerian Police and Their Wahala

October 28, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

Below are some of the Troubles You Face With Policemen on The Road… Why is your laptop bag empty, you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag abi? Oya, enter the motor! Oga, this your Range Rover Sport car is fine o. Oya, use it to hit that wall there let’s […]

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Girl’s Facebook Status Updates

October 28, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

A GIRL’S FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES “Wow! I just found the love of my life… Nothing will ever stop me from loving my man?.” 14 DAYS LATER “Never make sum1 a priority when you’re just an option to them!” 2 DAYS LATER “I HATE love so much!” 3 DAYS LATER. “I’m happy to remain single and […]

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Funny Joke: Touch and follow

September 22, 2015 | By | 1 Comment

I fell in love with a girl called Amanda, but don’t have the guts to ask her out. So I went to see a native doctor popularly called “Baba”. All he demanded from me was 1-month internet data subscription money which I paid and he gave me a ring called ‘Touch and Follow’. He said, […]

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Funny Joke: The butcher’s dog

September 10, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

A dog ran into a cow meat butcher’s shop and grabbed a meat bone off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognised the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Unhappy at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “If your dog stole a meat […]

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Funny Joke: Game Show

September 10, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

A Ghanaian, a Kenyan and a Nigerian entered into a game show. The host explained the rules, “I’m going to say jokes for an hour straight and whoever doesn’t laugh at the end receives $5000!” The host starts and after 15 minutes the Ghanaian is out. He continues and after 40 minutes the Kenyan is […]

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Funny Abbreviations

July 9, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

Below are popular funny Abbreviations… APC = Accepting Past Criminals. PDP = People Deceiving People. IMO = I Must Obey. IBADAN = Ibo Boys Are Dangerous At Night. ABA = Agege Boys Association. LAGOS = Love All Girls On Sunday. ABACHA = After Babangida Another Criminal Has Arrived. GULDER = Girls Under Languor Deserve Extra […]

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Nigeria Joke: Who killed Abel

July 1, 2015 | By | 2 Comments

I went to the police station to certify my document. On arrival, I met one of the policemen reading the bible, specifically Genesis, I was so impressed so I asked him, “Officer, who killed Abel, Adam’s son?” He raised his head, looked at my face with dismay and said, “I don’t know, ask Sgt Asare, […]

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Nigeria Joke: Man wanted

June 29, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

It is only in Nigeria where you’ll see a notice board that says, “Job Vacancy: Man wanted with 40 years experience of work. He must be less than 25 years of age.”

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Nigerian Joke: Mallam Sule

June 27, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

Malam Sule bought a new bullet proof jeep for N75M. While visiting Warri, he was attacked by armed robbers who rained bullets on his car. To his amazement the car resisted all. So he started insulting the robbers. One of dem gestured that he could not hear him, so Malam Sule brought down his window […]

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Nigeria Joke: Your Money

June 3, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

Late one night, a thief wearing a mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” he demanded. Stubborn, the rich man replied, “You can’t do this! I’m a Nigerian Senator!” “In that case,” replied the thief, “give me MY money!”

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Funny Ways To Breakup With Your Spouse

March 5, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

The following below are the funniest ways to breakup with your Boy/Girlfriend… “16 missed calls?! You killed my battery so you’re capable of killing me… It’s over!!!” “How come mosquito is biting me and not biting you? I smell conspiracy. IT’S OVER!” “You don’t even respect me, I’m talking and you are busy breathing? It’s […]

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‘Wise’ sayings from Akpos

February 17, 2015 | By | Add a Comment

Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any Albert Macauley (1872) He who says nothing lasts forever has never tried Hausa perfume Nelson Mandela (1973) He who completely unwraps banana and Ga kenkey before eating cannot keep a secret Abraham Lincoln (1864) Any man that uses his teeth to cut […]

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Nigeria Joke: Argument

February 10, 2015 | By | 1 Comment

Wikipedia : I know everything. Google : I have everything. Facebook : I know everybody. Internet : Without me, you are all nothing. NEPA: Keep talking …we shall see.

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