Akpos was the Bank Manager at First Bank. He was going through some documents in his office one morning when he heard noises in the banking. A man had come in and was arguing with a female secretary: Man: I say where is the fucking manager? The man asked angrily. secretary : Mr, please we […]
A broke Akpos was planning how he would enjoy Christmas when Ekaitte, his girlfriend, came around. The following conversation ensued.: Ekaitte: Honey, please buy me an iPhone 6 as my Christmas present. Akpos: Whaat! You are calling me ‘honey’, which means my mother is a bee. It’s over between us.
Akpos had only N3000 in his pocket and was very hungry. He wanted to eat good food, so he went to one high class hotel in Lagos and made an order for the most expensive meal and wine they had available. After the meal, the drinks and champagne, his bill was N5000 but he told […]
1. Why count your money in front of the ATM? Will you return it if it’s incorrect? 2. It amazes me that people are afraid to talk in the exam room when the question clearly said “Discuss” 3. Some girls are looking for tall guys with pink lips and six packs when their fathers are […]
While examining a female patient, Doctor tells her: “Your heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble. Woman immediately started taking off her jeans and underwear. Doc shocked said: “No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your […]
Akpos brought his math’s assignment to his father to solve. This is the conversation that ensued… FATHER: Akpos, supposing you have five bags each containing one million naira and someone requests for 2 bags, how much will you have left? AKPOS: Still my 5 bags dad. FATHER: (Knowing how naughty his son might be) What […]
A conversation between Sergeant Akpos and his superior Commanding Officer: Commanding Officer: Sergeant Akpos! Akpos: Yes Saah! Commanding Officer: Are you ready to fight for your country? Akpos: Yes saaah!! Commanding Officer: Are you ready to die for you country? Akpos: Yes Saaaaaaah!!! Commanding Officer : We are transferring you from Lagos to Borno State […]
Akpos had just been hired as the new managing director of a large high tech London-based corporation. The Managing Director who was stepping down, met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. Things went along […]
Akpos was in an English class when the teacher was explaining different types of nouns to the class. TEACHER: An abstract noun is something you can see but you cannot touch. Who can give me an example of an abstract noun. AKPOS: Your breasts and your bum ma.
Akpos lived in a village in Warri, Nigeria. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, “You are driving me crazy Akpos!” One day Akpos’ mother came to the school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that […]
After having sex, Akpos and his girlfriend were chatting in his room when she suddenly asked him a question: Girlfriend: Sweety, you claim to read Novels a lot right? Akpos: Yes dear. Is there a problem with that? Girlfriend: Not at all, I just want you to describe my boobs with the name of a […]
Akpos was late to school and the following conversation ensued between him and his Teacher: Teacher: Akpos why are you late to school? Akpos: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does the sign have to do with you? Akpos: The sign said “SCHOOL AHEAD, SLOW DOWN”
In an external examination, the invigilator saw that Akpos had written some mathematical formula on his hands. The following conversation ensued: Invigilator: Why did you write the formulas on your hand? AKPOS: My teacher told us that formulas must be at your finger tips
Akpos was preparing for his A Levels Mathematics Examination. The more he studied, the more he seemed not to understanding a thing. he consulted Angelina for help. AKPOS: Baby, I’ve been trying to solve this question since morning but I’m not getting anywhere with it. ( 60-53+10=what will you have?) Angelina: Ok, lets reason it […]